ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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