I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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