Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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