I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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