clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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