she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize