I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize