I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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