the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just blew my weed a kiss
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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