Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
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He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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