Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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