But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
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That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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