I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
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My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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