Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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