i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize