i love accidental penises.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize