WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize