Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize