I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize