found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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