I puked a lego.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize