she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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