You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
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Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
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Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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