I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize