Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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