You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize