Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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