k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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