If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize