his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize