he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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