I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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