you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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