But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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