Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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