your room smells of hookers.
And success
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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