Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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