While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize