Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
God I need to hump something, right now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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