dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you traded sex for a burrito?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm really busy with my period
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