Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
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Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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