just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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