So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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