She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize