i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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