Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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