I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
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I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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