I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize