But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
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I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
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I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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