So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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